nightmare

Went to play in a small tournament and it turned out to be a nightmare.
I was quite prepared for it. Hit balls for almost tow hours in another place beforehand, and was playing okay.
Then started a match spotting the guy I think 18 or so. Missed some very easy shots and then played lots of safety to come back to black ball game. Missed a long straight in black, timing was very off. Back swing too long. Then he fluked it in.
Second game again spotted the game some points like 15, then played real bad missing many color balls. He did 23 on me, then almost ran out the color. Very sad.
Not sure why I played so bad, thinking may be it was because I was not confident. So, I doubt my aim. Cueing was also funny, could not make any long shot.,
Not really sure what happened.
Cue felt very insensitive, and cue arm felt very stiff.
This tournament is very expensive and prize payout is not good. The handicapped is making it hard to make money.
Very disappointed that I wasted $40 on this.
I will go play S tomorrow i think i will play better.